the beloved of God

I used to think David was such a fool. He whined too much, complained too much. I mean, just read the Psalms - it's all emo. He was kinda emotionally instable too. One minute he's dancing naked...the other minute he's in sackcloths and ashes, weeping before the Most High. What a freak.

If he lived in the present world, he's have a really emo blog. Probably called emoblog or something. He would probably grow his hair out and dye it black, and wear emo dark-rimmed glasses.

Recently, though, I've been developing a deep respect for David. No, not for the 100 foreskins he took off of the Philistines. No, not for the many possessions and wives he acquired. No, not for his endless victories on the battlefield... But for the suffering and grief that he experienced throughout his life.

It probably started when the Prophet Samuel barged into his humble life to anoint him as King. He was just a teenager. He was just a shepherd. He was just a country boy.

He was just David.

Imagine the conflicts that Samuel must have caused in his father Jesse's house. Imagine his older brothers becoming envious and angry over the idea that young David gets to be king. He was probably despised by some of them. The tension.

Imagine the doubts David had while he was growing up. "Did that old guy really come over and pour oil all over my head and told me I was going to be king?" "Do I really want to be king?" "Do I have choice over this?" "Do I really have to leave my family?" "Will my brothers still love me?"

Growing up in a house full of tension, probably constantly doubting his kingship, and probably feeling lonely and lost all the time... Out in the fields, alone, tending to his father's sheep, wondering and questioning. I bet he enjoyed the company of his sheep. They don't criticize him. They listen to him. They don't fill him with sorrow. They're just dumb little things. Quiet and harmless.

Then all of a sudden the tides turn. Before he knew it, he was in the King's court. He had become a hero - he slayed Goliath the giant. King Saul wants him to be his music boy. King Saul liked him enough to give him his daughter! He finally had a real friend. No longer alone. Finally accepted. Popular, even. But still he just thought himself as 'just David.'

I bet for a period of time he was very content with the life that he had - the friendship with Jonathan, the fame and honor from the Israelites, and the prospect of a marrying a princess. He must have questioned whether or not he was indeed anointed as King by the old prophet. I bet he wished so hard to deny that reality. "Man, I don't want to be king. Just let me be David. Just David. David, Jonathan's friend. David, husband of a princess. David, killer of the Philistines."