Ego Eagle.

Though this post is titled 'Ego Eagle,' eagles actually have nothing to do with this post. I just like how 'eagle' sounds like 'ego.' Anyway.

I noticed something strange about my weight-lifting behavior. I noticed that I have a habit of attempting to impress guys as opposed to girls. You'd think that I'd try to impress girls via lifting heavier weights when girls are around, but nah, not at all. To the contrary, I become a very modest lifter when girls come around the lifting area. My weight-lifting behaviors become much more self-conscious, and I stop all grunting behavior (I usually grunt a lot when I lift).

So this stirred some thought. Why do I make sure other Asian males see me lift heavyass weights and not care about whether girls see me lift heavyass weights?

I think I am a victim of man's natural tendency to establish themselves as alpha male. It's like when other asian guys come around, I default to a very primitive mindset of, 'yeah you better know I lift more than you, you better know I got guns' Oh ego. Oh insecurity.

While this sort of behavior, in the context of the weight room, is only silly and humorous (and slightly non-straight....), this sort of behavior/mentality becomes very problematic should I extend it to a spiritual context.

'yea better know I'm more spiritual than you' is a very problematic mindset, and is completely inconsistent with spiritual maturity and the attitude of Christ.

oh Lord, spare me from myself!