job search et al

I take not delight in this process, even if I do end up getting the job. This is because my victory means someone's defeat, and my fortune is another's misfortune. More hope for me means hope snuffed out of my classmates and friends. Dammit.

To know that I am the cause of someone else's overwhelming sense of defeat....

And another thing - after going through this process, I find it a very difficult thing that anyone would be able to put fluff/ lie on his or her resume. I think the guilt of getting a 2nd round or a final round cus of some lie I said would seriously overwhelm me, especially when I know I have friends who probably deserve the job as much as I do. So I don't really know how people do it - this lying on his/her resume deal. Does not their conscience overburden them? Does not guilt, shame, plow through their minds? Does not conscience suffocate?

Anyway. Even though I don't like making others feel like crap, I still want the job. It's what I've been slaving my ass off for the last couple of years, right? So yeah, wish me luck. Better yet, pray for me.

I will know if I'm employed as a S&T guy by Monday. I just returned from the big city yesterday for 2 different trading floor final rounds.

comforter

the all things grand,
the all things whole,
bothers with the broken
amends our mold

with a hug in distress
a gentle caress
He is One who listens softly
opposite of hardly

note:
to my pessimistic friend who may or may not be reading this, who has very little confidence in my vocal endeavors, who just keeps on hatin' yo - it's your turn to share a poem.